Laugh with me because perfect parents don't exist.

mom

I’m Not Butt Mom

The question my kids asked the most was “But, Mom, can I have this?” My answer was “I’m not Butt Mom.” The full reply was, “If we all got what we wanted, I’d be on a beach in Fiji right now. And don’t call me Butt Mom.” They never asked where Fiji was. I didn’t …

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What’s Beyond Space?

It’s my fault that my younger son always gets sleepy in the car. I trained him to do that because I drove them around until they napped. I needed every coping mechanism I could use to survive having three kids in four years. They were never all asleep at the same time. When my older …

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Grocery Store Rules

The produce section of the grocery store used to give me nightmares. I rushed through it like an octopus. I grabbed vegetables while swatting Tommy’s hands away from plucking that one apple that might topple the pile of fruit. At the same time, I needed a third hand to readjust Kay’s pacifier or pass her …

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Sugar

Tommy’s feet barely touched the ground when he returned from his fifth grade class trip. He looked like he was floating along instead of walking like he usually did, casually lumbering like a lost kid window shopping for toys. His gait was so distracting, it took me awhile to notice the impossibly wide-eyed, spacey look …

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